I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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