my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
