Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
