Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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