my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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