U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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