he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
