I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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