im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
