dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
