physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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