are you so shy because you have an std?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
