...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I need a beard to bite.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize