I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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