Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Girls should come with a carfax report
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
