dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
