that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
