At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
My vagina is officially offended.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
