I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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