i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Randomize
