Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
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