She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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