Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
