Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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