Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I have aggressive nipples.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Randomize
