Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
