just come out here and I will go home with you...
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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