9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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