I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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