a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
You ate ashes out of my bong
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
