Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Someone shattered a urinal.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
