Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't think brook has ever known best
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
