spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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