I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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