I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
