UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
And then he peed in my hair
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