Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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