Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
