There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
