so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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