her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
