In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize