I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
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