Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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