When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Randomize
