youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
