I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
