My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
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