Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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