We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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