I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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