Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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