You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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