oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Randomize
