Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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