thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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