Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
