Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
