So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
