Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
