im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
