I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
