$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
