she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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