Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
