Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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